By RODNEY HO/ firstname.lastname@example.org, originally filed Wednesday, June 24, 2015
Savannah get appendicitis. She decides to milk it for all its worth by allowing her parents Todd and Julie Chrisley to pamper her as she recovers.
Here are some of the best quotes from the half hour:
Empathy is… this?
“You had to have gotten your bad appendix from your mama’s side. All the Chrisleys have our appendixes. We all die with our appendixes inside of us.” – Todd
“I am going to donate my organs when I die. One of my organs ought to go to the Smithsonian.” – Todd
I’m rich, b****!
“I want to be rich… so I can stunt and I can ball. I like to have money.” – Chase, who thinks he can become a realtor.
“I’m going to be stupid rich in no time.” – Chase, after helping Todd’s realtor buddy with an open house for a $1.7 million house by baking chocolate chip cookies
“You’re not going to go out here the first year and your last name becomes Trump.” – Todd
“Ivanka might become single. You never know.” – Chase
“A good looking woman who has her game going isn’t looking for a scrub.” – Todd
“Mr. Cocky is Mr. Clueless now.” Savannah, after Chase botches his first open house. (To be fair, he did better the second time around.)
This request is just cold
“I like the ice from Zaxby’s.” – Savannah, preferring the ice there from the ice at Chick Fil-A
Todd’s modus operandi
“I’m going to be everything rolled into one: doctor, dad, mom, bodyguard. She’s going to realize how much she truly needs me.” – Todd
“I’ve been doing that for 20 years.” – Julie.
“I got hit by a car when I was 12 and I didn’t get this type of treatment.” – Chase
Speaking of being pampered…
“It’s been 10 years since I’ve been to a grocery store.” – Todd. (Ten years???)
Todd’s ballsiest quote of the day
“It’s cold enough here to freeze the balls off a pool table.” – Todd, in the frozen food aisle of the supermarket.
“I”m about ready to choke that chick with the cowbell.” – Todd after several days of Savannah using said cowbell when she needed something
And why would he even know what it was like at a cotton mill?
“I feel like I have pulled an 18-hour shift in the cotton mill days.” – Todd
“Chrisley Knows Best,” 10 p.m., Tuesdays, USA Network